"Fall Out Or Fall Down, Sir?"

Everyone wants to make a good impression their first day on a new job. I did that once, but it wasn't the sort of impression I had planned.

When I was in the Army, my first - and only - combat arms assignment was with the 11th Armored Cavalry ("Blackhorse") Regiment in West Germany, guarding the East-West German border. I checked into the Hotel Wenzel in Bad Hersfeld, and two days later, was in the field with the India Troop Invaders of the 3rd Squadron - "Workhorse, Sir!" Right after I arrived in the field - the sub-zero snow-and-ice-covered field - the commanding officer had my new platoon in formation for me to take charge of. He introduced me to them, them to me, and spoke a few words designed to motivate and inspire. He told me to take charge; I saluted, and he left me with my platoon. I don' t remember all that I said, or even if I said much, but I will never forget dismissing them with "Fall out!"

Then I took one step and promptly fell on my ass.

I also will never forget the words of one young Spec 4 - who, as it turned, out was the driver of my heaterless tank - rising above the laughter: "Fall out, or fall down, sir?!"