Free Stuff

Have you ever noticed that when you offer free things to people, they change? I don't mean change, but change.

An ACE Hardware store just opened here in Oro Valley, and for the last three days, they've been celebrating their grand opening. Friday morning they opened at 7:00 am and the first 200 people got a free flashlight with batteries. Yes, I got one, and it's nicer than I expected. My mom expected it to be a cheap little POS (my words, my acronym) but it wasn't. It's not quite a use-it-as-a-club Maglite, but hey, it's free!

Yesterday morning at 7:00, Mom and I went, and the first 200 people got a five-gallon bucket with handle, and anything you could fit inside it was 20% off, limit one per household. Yes, we each took one.

All three days, you could register for a $500 shopping spree.

Today, there was a $5 gift card for the first 200 people, plus free coffee and doughnuts - oh yeah, and popcorn every day. Sure, ACE opened at 9:00 am instead of 7:00, but there were more people there for coffee and doughnuts than Friday for an $8.99 tax-not-included flashlight. It's funny seeing some doddering old man eating popcorn and doughnuts. Together.

Anyway, when we pulled into the parking lot, I missed a close spot, so I started to back up and this car zipped right into it without even looking at me. Jeez, they must really want that $5 gift card! They got in line behind us and looked like a Q-tip, her son, and two grandkids. The lady speed racer didn't even want the #%$& (again, my words) card and even said to the employee handing out the coupons to redeem inside for the gift cards: "We're just here for the coffee and doughnuts." Sure enough, they fairly flew to the food.

I should have slept in.