1. Women who grow their fingernails more than 1/4", paint little designs on them, or glue on little fake diamonds. I once saw a woman in LA whose fingernails were pierced and had little hoops in them. If you're going to get fancy, stick with a French manicure. They're understated and classy. And no, I'm not gay; I'm just well educated.
2. People who dress up their dogs. That's what the fur is for!
3. "Yip-yip" (that's the sound they make) dogs and women who carry them around in their purses.
4. "Weight-challenged" women wearing spandex, or shirts that are so short they show off their bellies.
5. Dog poop left in the middle of the sidewalk because the owner didn't clean it up.
6. Restaurant servers who ask "Do you want your change?" No, I don't. Please just go ahead and assume that it's all for you.
7. Too much mayonnaise on my sandwich.
8. Not enough mayonnaise on my sandwich.
9. Driving exactly the speed limit. It's okay to go five miles over the limit - that's the range cops give you.
10. Does Paula Abdul - yes, I watch "American Idol," but only when someone else is already watching it - ever say anything bad about anyone?
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