People Are Funny...

If I want caffeine in the morning and I have a hot breakfast, I prefer iced tea over coffee. Since I'm out of tea bags, I went to the Breugger's bagel shop on the corner to get an iced tea. The guy in front of me was ordering a large coffee and asked if they had any non-dairy creamer, because he's lactose intolerant. I know how that feels, and - not to gross you out, but merely to illustrate a point - if I drink a glass of milk, or even have milk with cereal, it will make me feel like I just had Thanksgiving dinner.

Anyway, one of the two teenage cashiers told him yes, they have non-dairy creamer, and pointed to a counter off to the side. So the guy pays and goes over, and adds sugar and looks for the non-dairy creamer, but there's only skim milk, whole milk, and half-and-half. By this time, I'm already at said counter, filling up my cup (regular iced tea - I don't do the flavored stuff) and adding some sugar. The customer asks the other cashier where the non-dairy creamer is, but she doesn't know, so she asks her colleague (the original one who confirmed the existence of the much-needed fake milk). He comes over and the customer tells him that he can't find the non-dairy creamer. The employee then points to the three Thermos containers (skim milk, whole milk, and half-and-half) and says that's all they have; they don't have any non-dairy creamer.

Now even I'm getting confused. The lactose-intolerant customer says that he can't drink milk and the employee apologizes and says that's all they have. The customer - did I say he's lactose intolerant? - looks at my tea, says, "that's good." Okay, at this point, I figure he's going to ditch the coffee and get tea, but no. He then says to himself, "I guess I'll have to take a chance," and proceeds to pour not milk but half-and-half into his coffee. I guess he figured it was half milk and half non-existent non-dairy creamer.

Good luck with that. Here's some Pepto-Bismol.